Polyamory is defined as a lifestyle of having polyamorous
relationships. Such relationships are simultaneous and they may of a sexual,
intellectual or emotional nature or a combination of these elements. Those who live
so openly and honestly may be experiencing a better alternative to being in relationships which appear to be monogamous but have one or both partners engaging in
the dishonest practices of cheating. Engaging in relationships with multiple
partners at the same time may also offer more opportunities for greater
self-development. When one receives insightful feedback from multiple sources
at the same time, it may be more effective than receiving them from a long-term
monogamous relationship alone.
There are some interesting advantages
to this type of lifestyle. From an economic standpoint, people openly engaged
in such types of relationships may be more likely to share a variety of
resources such as homes, cars, appliances and even finances causing them
to enjoy higher standards of living without over-consuming. Children
may benefit from living together with multiple adults who love them and provide
care and multiple role-models for them.
I recently had personal
communication with D. a young polyamorous woman who lives together with her
husband and boyfriend. D. had been dating her boyfriend in high school until
they split up when he went away to college. After she married her husband and
had a son, she reconnected with the ex-boyfriend (thanks to social media!). The old relationship redeveloped so that she and
her husband moved so they could live with her boyfriend. Both men love and take care of her son. My impression is that she seems quite happy in
choosing to live in this type of lifestyle and that having an extra “dad” for
her son also makes her life easier and more enjoyable. She loves them both
equally but in different ways. Her biggest hope is that her husband will also
find a regular girlfriend so that there will be “more love and that’s not a bad
thing!”
Polyamory
probably isn’t for everyone but it might offer a better alternative than
“switching monogamous partners every seven years just because you find someone
new and different interesting.” In fact, a man named V. in Francoise Simpere’s book
The Art and Etiquette of Polyamory credited this lifestyle choice as improving
and saving his marriage. Might polyamory be a good possible alternative to
serial monogamy and could it help to prevent the economic and emotional
stresses of divorce?
The other side of the coin is that there's not always honesty and respect. I heard the story of one couple who agreed to have an open relationship and the wife started to have a secret affair on the side. The couple ended up having a very bad breakup. Maybe sneaking around, gives some people a thrill that makes outside relationships more exciting?
The other side of the coin is that there's not always honesty and respect. I heard the story of one couple who agreed to have an open relationship and the wife started to have a secret affair on the side. The couple ended up having a very bad breakup. Maybe sneaking around, gives some people a thrill that makes outside relationships more exciting?
For those who want to know more you can check out this Polyamory website.
Anapol, Deborah. (2010). Polyamory
in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners. Lanham,
Maryland: The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.
Simpere, Francoise.(2011). The Art and Etiquette of Polyamory. New York, NY: Skyhorse Publishing.
Update on this post, February 14, 2019
A truly polyamory relationship, would be one of honesty and respect, wouldn't it? I recently saw a show that seemed to give a good example of such a relationship.
It was in the PBS show Victoria Season Season 3, Episode 5. Victoria and Albert visit Lord Palmerston at his estate in Sligo, Ireland. While visiting there, Victoria has some interesting and revealing conversation with Lady Emily Palmerston. She reveals that they both have lovers outside their marriage. Due to Lord Palmerston's political commitments and her preference to stay at their estate, they have many periods of long separation. But it's also clear that they have a long, committed loving relationship with complete honesty.
Some quotes from Lady Emily:
"He leaves his boots outside his door." (about her husband's signal to show his availability for other women.)
"There's honey and then there's HONEY." (about her own amorous pleasures)
Update on this post, February 14, 2019
A truly polyamory relationship, would be one of honesty and respect, wouldn't it? I recently saw a show that seemed to give a good example of such a relationship.
It was in the PBS show Victoria Season Season 3, Episode 5. Victoria and Albert visit Lord Palmerston at his estate in Sligo, Ireland. While visiting there, Victoria has some interesting and revealing conversation with Lady Emily Palmerston. She reveals that they both have lovers outside their marriage. Due to Lord Palmerston's political commitments and her preference to stay at their estate, they have many periods of long separation. But it's also clear that they have a long, committed loving relationship with complete honesty.
Some quotes from Lady Emily:
"He leaves his boots outside his door." (about her husband's signal to show his availability for other women.)
"There's honey and then there's HONEY." (about her own amorous pleasures)
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