Really, it's not all bad. Giving and receiving gifts can be pleasurable activities. According to Gary Chapman, the author of The 5 Love Languages, the giving of gifts is an expression of love. For some people, it's a very important demonstration of their expression of love and of receiving love. But... let me say but...if the gift is something inappropriate or seems to be a demonstration that the giver doesn’t know or appreciate the receiver's likes or interests, it can cause problems.
This romantic holiday may also put the pressure on those who are not quite a couple or those who are splitting up. I remember having a particularly painful Valentine’s Day while my current relationship at that time was literally dissolving. I won’t go into the details but I shed a lot of tears while feeling sad, angry, disappointed, resentful and even a bit jealous. Looking back in retrospect, I’ve come to realize that it was better for me to be out of a relationship where I was not truly loved, appreciated, accepted and was consistently disappointed.
Whether you’re in a relationship or not, know that you are loved. Real love is eternal and is ever there even when people can’t be together in this physical reality. If you have a spiritual path or practice, it can become natural for you to know that you are love.
As I know that I am LOVE in the experience of loving and being loved, I am taking better care of myself, have healthy, loving relationships and live a happy life.
Happiness is a choice. It starts with the self desiring happiness and knowing that it is a state of being. It’s not about putting off happiness by saying “I’ll be happy when I have the perfect home, job, partner, body, etc. It's about counting current blessings, that is, being aware of all the Good one already has and then being Grateful for all of it. True happiness is a state of being and a way of life.
I am constantly reminded that: "Happiness is a Choice." I even wear a bracelet with this quote on it!
Some people make a regular practice of journaling or reflecting with this habit.
Here's a little exercise to try....
Right now, as you're reading this, you can try this little exercise below.
Just take a minute or two to reflect on this question:
"What are you grateful for?"
When you have at least three things for which you can be grateful , close you eyes.
Focus on your heart ( you could also put a hand on it), feeling the loving gratitude for the good you already have.
Just sit in that feeling of being in loving gratitude for a couple of minutes.
Now open your eyes. Take a note of how you're feeling.
If you're feeling better about your life or maybe even a bit happy, you might want to do this regularly to support living your happy life!
*BTW, if you have the time, you can think of more than 3 things to be grateful for.
Which brings me back to Valentine’s Day. If you are in a relationship, be grateful for it and appreciate it. If you’re single, appreciate all the past and current relationships you have (even if they’re not romantic). You can also be grateful for the relationships to come! Big love is beyond romance and doesn’t care how attractive you are or aren’t whether it’s in any of these states of being— physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, financial, etc.
Whoever you are, reading this right now—regardless of who you are, what you’ve done and where you’ve been, know that YOU ARE LOVED!
Here’s a little artwork inspired by this special day of love:
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